A storm in a blog teacup, or how Stef McGraw spectaculary missed the point

Pablo: “How is politely (if ineptly) hitting on a woman in an elevator that you’ve been speaking with for a few hours earlier rise to the level of stalking?”

Because you are in an elevator at 4 in the morning. Duh. It is a confined space with no escape. Imagine if I got on an elevator with you while holding a gun (not pointing at you, but you can see it) and politely asked you for your money. I didn’t threaten, I smiled, and expressed my admiration of you, and would you give me $50? Would you feel pressure to give me the money? Would you feel more or less uncomfortable?

This guy had hours to make his feelings known and to actually have a conversation with her before he followed her into the elevator. He’s a creep.

Pablo: “Here I’ll lay out what would have been wrong for you idiots:

If he followed her to her room and reinitiated contact – that is stalking.”

So is watching her for hours at a distance and then following her onto an elevator.

Pablo: “If he made any threats of violence – that is wrong.”

You can threaten violence in all sorts of ways, and do so even being “nice”. And not only wrong, threatening violence is a crime. And the incident described is not criminal, it is creepy, off-putting, and wrong–but not illegal.

Pablo: “If he touched her without her consent – that is wrong.”

Wow, rape is wrong? Thanks for the protip!

Pablo: “If he approached her in an intimidating posture – that is wrong.”

Which he did, since he waited to have her trapped in an elevator to make his move. Context is key here. It wasn’t in the bar, it wasn’t standing in line at the grocery store, or at a singles mixer. It was in an elevator in the very early morning.

Pablo: “If he verbally disparaged her for turning down his invitation – that is wrong.”

He non-verbally disparaged her. He did so by waiting and hitting on her in an elevator.


Everything but the crimes happened here.

Pablo: “But a “- let’s have coffee and conversation in my room and hope it goes somewhere – oh, you don’t want to – I’m sorry – have a good night” equate with anything wrong or misogynistic? It appears that Atheist bloggers are now forming their own mutawa squad?

This is the height of white American prudishness.”

Not what he said, and not what was implied. Why specify going to his room? Why not suggest coffee before she leaves the public area where there is coffee available immediately? He obviously was trying to get her into his room, and who knows what scheme he had going once that was accomplished.

He’s a creep, and the fact that you find the whole exchange as described an example of “prudishness” shows that you are probably a creep, too.

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